The apple I would never eat is an elegiac, autobiographical, location-based love story made in response to the untimely death of my dog, Nancy. An ongoing project, it comprises several chapters, Traces, rituals, the uncanny, and the path Nancy always insisted on taking; Belongings; What was where and Clouds.
Facing death, Nancy’s death, mortality, my own; investigating memory, the uncanny, what is left behind, traces; looking for ghosts, just the one ghost; examining liminal spaces and times, time, and the idea of an afterlife, a life after.
Where did Nancy go when she died, I know where her body is, I buried it, her, but where is she now?
I photograph traces of her existence, the light on her grave, perform and record rituals, am comforted by the uncanny, return over and over to a path she always insisted on walking, make temporary sculptures out of her belongings to photograph them before storing them away again, and look for her face in the clouds.
Photographing something that cannot be seen, making the invisibility of loss visible and with the addition of text creating a third space; an abstract space, a liminal space between life and death, a space for the living and the dead to inhabit.
Would I find her there if I looked hard enough, often enough, long enough?